Bored and Bad

I am a girl who just happens to be a boyfriend.
I am a boy who just happens to be a girlfriend.
Confusing?
I know, and those things only make sense when said just like that. If I had to choose, I'd say I'm her boyfriend because I've never been a good girlfriend. I don't know how to be a good girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure I have some clue about how to be a good boyfriend. I know someone who just says friend every time he refers to his boyfriend, but I'm sure that has a lot to do with his relationships to the people with whom he is talking. I keep trying to tell myself that it doesn't matter what they call me, but I have this horrible obsession with knowing things and having definite answers, and the fact that I can't tell people what I am anymore is really getting to me. The truth is that I am a lot of things at once, and I always have this feeling that whatever words are used neglect the rest of me at any given time. I wish there were a word that could capture that kind of person. Since there really isn't, I'm trying to form a combination of my own. Obviously, this goes way beyond boyfriend or girlfriend and gets all the way down to boy or girl. Maybe I'll never find the right words. If that's really the case, then I have to start looking for a way to be okay with that.
Telling my parents is becoming a bit of a problem. More specifically, I'm having a difficult time communicating with my mother. (I'd say that communication with my dad on the matter is almost non-existant.) I want her to understand, but a huge part of me knows that she will never fully understand this and thus may never fully accept it. Her beliefs, which have been shaped and beaten into her by this wretchedly backwards atmosphere from the time of her youth, contrast so sharply with mine, and the definitions she uses are so outdated to me that I can't even imagine opening up for discussion. I desperately want to be able to talk about this kind of stuff with her because I have been able to talk to her about absolutely everything else that happens in my life. It's a huge part of me. It's basically who I am. If we can't talk about that, I'm not sure what that says about our relationship.
I thought I'd have a few more insightful things to say. I thought I'd be able to articulate this way better than it seems I have. I'm sure I could eventually. I guess I just picked the wrong time to write.
I had a few other things I wanted to write about, such as the past semester, AF crap, and a situation related to the above that involves my future as a possible parent, but I don't think I can do justice to those topics either, at least right now.
I may come back to this later.