Waffles on Thursday

my week can't have begun
a week ago
more like thursday
different kind of meeting
than i'm used to
even though i should
have seen it all before
new people
to try their luck at doing
something
that matters.
if only everyone knew
what that used to mean
how it felt to find something that matters
and stick your soul to it with rubber cement
now more like a post-it note with the glue just
flaking off maybe it'll stick if you hold it there
but people will get tired of holding your hand someday
but i guess it's only paper anyway and paper
doesn't care
i don't know what i felt walking out
maybe it was nothing but i wanted
something
maybe just something
to be different
because everything
was starting to feel the same.
the same sitting on the couch and looking forward
to nothing but a night barely
sprinkled with sleep
and another day of hiding
my face in books.
pretender.
let's drive. fast. and far away.
running away from the rest of my life
is perfectly fine from time to time.
pretender. back for class at nine.
it's that feeling
of being in motion. and being
in control of that motion.
acceleration
moving you forward
throwing you back
at the same time.
singing along to a loud song
on a midnight highway is like
having a conversation of a whole new kind.
voices harmonizing
at just the right time
and glances that meet
in the middle when you know
you're thinking
the exact same thing.
and you still don't know where you
need to go
but that's not what matters
so why not cross state lines
for breakfast
in the middle
of the night?
west virginia waffle house and a wild
fire
that might not even have been real
i wonder what that woman thought
when she heard us talking
about driving all that way
to sit in her diner
and feed
our emotional gluttony.
and walk out with a hash brown too.
and why not take the chance
while your at it taking chances
find out just how far
you can push you car
yourself
without filling up
end up
in the wrong county
too far north of where
you need to be
missed the mark
by a long shot
and didn't even know
didn't even think
just drove.
and it was okay.
it was dark. foreign. but
okay.
track 12. home.
but we weren't even close
but depending on your definition
of home
maybe we never left
the comforts of our fortress
and hey we even had that cozy fire
somewhere in the distance
behind the tangle of trees which might
have hidden beasts or bodies or a better
way out of there.
missed the tunnels.
came in from the wrong side
but no matter which way you look at it
it's damn beautiful
too see this place at night
lit up
light you
to see the mirror on the surface
of the water
and the metal threads of the bridge
you're wrapped in
and it's hard to imagine
another life
anywhere else
at any time
because how could you have
how could you ever
live without this?