basket weaving (why not?)

It's been months since I've written
him a letter
I can't stand to let him (not) know
And
maybe he just
wouldn't (under)stand (for) it
I really need to stop (this)
but so much stuff
just can't find the place
it belongs
shove it between but
we're still on the same page

letters can be flawless
and I could say
everything.
perfectly.
right down to the punctuation I can't do it
because it's so
fake
anymore
so I'm going to scribble and scrawl and stall
because the time isn't
quite right never fucking is
someday I won't be able to hide
and I want it now or soon or something
and someday I'll say
everything maybe lose
everything
but at least I'll have
myself