Surprise

I'm pretty sure I only write in here when I'm severely messed up in the head. I wish that weren't the case. I think I've reached the point of not even being able to write about what's going on in there. I can't grab a hold of anything in my head or outside of it. I'm not grounded in any way. This isn't going to be good. I feel like this past week and a half of this is going to keep building until something really terrible happens, and that just makes me want to stay away from everyone.