Disconnected thoughts

Single isn't that bad if you try not to think about it. I feel like everyone at home is starting to forget about me or worse. Having a job will probably make things go a lot faster around here, but I still wish I could make more money. I'm back to seriously considering porn. I don't even want to go upstairs right now because I don't want anything to start. But I'm hungry and I need batteries. I am seriously having trouble remembering which things happened in dreams and which did not. I don't think that's a good thing. I could either be doing very well or very poorly very soon, so I hope that nothing bad happens to tip me back over the edge. I feel like I'm constantly holding my breath again. It sucks being out of Xanax.