It's weird. The thought has crossed my mind more than a few times about moving to a city other than Pittsburgh. But I just don't know if I am ready for something like that, especially when Pittsburgh (or part of it, at least) feels like home. But do I wait until there's nothing left--until my perception is completely destroyed--or do I find a new place to call home? I know I shouldn't be thinking about this when I have so many other things to do first, but all of those things have been in preparation to go back to Pittsburgh. But what if that weren't my only option? What if going back is not right? Though there are some nice things about being back here, I know this place isn't right, and Pittsburgh definitely wasn't right at the time. There were places I visited that made me feel like that's where I needed to be when I was out that way a few weeks ago, but then there were people and places that made me feel like I didn't really belong. There were people that wanted me out of the picture for good, and maybe there were more than a few who thought of me as a nuisance. I'm trying to decide if I want to go back because it's a safe choice or because I know where everything is and wouldn't have to relearn how to function in society. Sadly, I'm not being dramatic about what moving to a new city all alone would do to me. Maybe I just want to be stable in a place that has already been stable for me before tackling something foreign. For some reason, I feel such a strong pull to the DC-area. Maybe it was that every time I meet someone from DC, I get a good vibe. This is not a decision I want to be making, and I really wish it hadn't crossed my mind. How do you know?
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I've been thinking about something similar recently. With the exception of [the city associated with] my hometown, I have never felt immediately "at home". I've always had a long adjustment period. But when that adjustment period was over, I've felt an intense pull toward the city, more than likely due to the fact that I struggled with the people/place/culture/etc. for so long.
ReplyDeleteI would say, "follow your gut", but I have such a hard time following that advice. Instead, I'd say: "do whatever puts you on the best track for the next five years," or some other (short) long-term goal.
But hey, what do I know? ;-p
In any case, keep us posted!
~B.