Pittsburgh Pride 2012. I have way too much to say about this to start writing in the middle of a Dunkin Donuts that I'm going to have to leave in a few minutes. There are way too many people here, and I need to begin the journey back to Lincoln so I can begin the journey home. I did a lot during Pride. I got a lot accomplished and had some great conversations, met some wonderful new people. But I'm not really sure I had a good time, overall. I didn't have a bad time. But I'm not sure if it was fun. It's pretty pathetic to wear a crown, march in a parade, and have people within the community ask the question, "What are you supposed to be?" But I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything more. Drag queens were mentioned as handing out beads during Pride, but the Post Gazette failed to mention drag kings. Then there was the drag queen who introduced me in the following way: "This is Dylan. She's a girl." I had more negative interactions like that than positive ones, frankly. I spent most of my time on guard during a time when I am supposed to not have to worry about this stupid shit. And another time, when I finally thought things were going to calm down and the fighting was going to stop, I was quickly reminded of my place as I watched a whole group of people-who-are-not-Dylan join the rest of them. This was the first time during Pride when I felt like I didn't really belong. I've always gone with groups of people. I took a cab this year and spent a few minutes talking to people here and there. Thursday was the best night for me, by far. And I had more fun doing the non-Pride related things with my friends than I did on Sunday. I feel like there are more and more ignorant assholes at Pride every year, and the worst part about it is that even the sober ones have no interest in learning. They'd like to remain ignorant and keep saying hateful things.
Tonight, I'll be taking a cab downtown by myself again and getting on a bus to go back to another place where I'm going to feel just as alone. Maybe it doesn't matter where I am. In that case, I guess I can go anywhere I want to. But this whole week has really killed my motivation to be or do anything. There's more, but I need to get away from this awkward circle of college freshmen.
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*hugs* (the real kind that we know how to give!)
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, I had a really confusing time at Pride too. So many assumptions were made that should never have been made. Feelings were hurt that should never have been hurt, especially by people who should have known better. What happened to all our family?
One of my favorite times by far was the time I got to spend with you. I'm sorry people were stupid. I'm still so glad you came. This past week wouldn't have been the same without you. <3
~B.
By the way, it goes without saying that you can call me anytime. I've been working around the clock on my dissertation and need breaks anyway, so never worry that you're calling too late or at a bad time. I'm here and I know how to listen!
ReplyDelete~B.