Idiosyncratic

A few hours ago, I was very tired, falling asleep on the couch as I struggled to watch a Season 2 episode of House on USA. What prompted me to start reading again was the sound of the turning of my roommate's key in the lock. For some reason, it bothers me to be seen sleeping, in such a state of vulnerability. Maybe that's because I feel like I always have to be on guard, and I know that I cast off the armor of years as soon as I close my eyes. Perhaps I fear being seen this way because the few people who have had a chance to witness my body in minimal motion have been able to see it for what it really is--to see through the body and penetrate the soul. Boy, does that scare the hell out of me.