Not Sure

I'm feeling pretty funny today. The day started off relatively well too, but maybe I should have gotten out of bed when I intended to this morning instead of sleeping until one again. I was late getting to Kat's house, which upset me, and then things weren't going well with the music and I felt like I was being a huge inconvenience because she had to get one of the songs from Amazon. Then we were late getting back to my house, which we weren't even supposed to be at anyway. And practicing in the basement is always weird. A lot of things just weren't lining up today, and I felt like I used up a lot of my reserve making that video earlier this afternoon, which I think went very well. I also started getting worked up trying to explain my plan for our number on Saturday, and I suppose that has something to do with the fact that the subject matter is very personal, and I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable in telling them what to do, etc. Or maybe I was just nervous a little too. I don't know. But now, I'm just feeling kind of down and not really into doing anything. I feel like I fucked up my social interactions for the day, and while I am eager to try to redeem myself, I don't know if I am entirely up for more of it, at least not with certain people, so I'm definitely feeling the pull in different directions.
When I start getting like this, everything begins to bother me. I start worrying about things that I shouldn't. I'm all worried about school and money and getting settled, which is normal, but the way that these thoughts are affecting me right now is getting to be too much. I need to be able to get myself back to a baseline, and again, I'm finding that more and more difficult. I just want to scream and cry and be held right now, but I am outwardly very calm and collected, just sitting up here in my room.
Being alone really isn't good for me right now, but there are very few people I trust to be with me in this state. And I can't really get to them, and I wouldn't want to put anyone through some unnecessary bullshit if something bad were to happen, so it's safer and less potentially harmful for these relationships if I just hide myself away for a little while. I suppose I'm getting used to it, and that may have good aspects and bad aspects.
Maybe I just feel really crammed in down in the basement. That might be a small part of it.
Sigh. Better than saying eh, whatever. Is there a difference?