Voice

I hate it when I leave my voice at home. Sometimes it’s really just in my pocket, but my pants are really tight, and I don’t want to embarrass myself by trying to get it out in front of all of these other people, so maybe I’ll just go over there by myself for a little while to make sure. But what happens if I don’t find it over there? I can’t go back. If I go back, they’ll expect me to have found it. What if it’s broken when I do find it? How do I fix it? Do I shake it? Do I send it back? Do I use gorilla tape? Gorilla tape fixes everything. Maybe if I just cover it up with enough gorilla tape, it’ll be okay for a little while. Things will be okay for a little while. I’ve done this a million times before, and now I can get away without using that much tape because I’ve gotten so much smarter about it.